Farewell My Friend

I intended to use today's post to talk about my new blog, The Heavyhearted Haikuist (http://www.sadhaiku.blogspot.com) but it will have to wait for tomorrow...because today, tragedy has struck.

A dear friend of mine died today. It's a pain that I'm having trouble coping with. I guess the easiest way to deal with it is just to explain how it all happened...

I was at work separating the transfers into each department when it happened.

He never even saw the battery acid...it came out of nowhere. I suppose he might have been screaming for help but I wasn't paying attention. I was too absorbed into my own shallow life I suppose. Maybe if I would have been more attentive...maybe if I would have acted quickly...I could have prevented it all.

The battery acid smeared across his face...and two hours later...he was disintegrating. His flesh began to tear with the slightest of ease and I could do nothing to save him.

Life goes on, as they say, but for me it will truly never be the same. He was the best damn shirt I've ever worn.

It's January

Dear people who wear shorts on January 18th: Go to hell. At least there you will be dressed weather-appropriately.

Aren't you cold? Isn't it breezy? Are you aware that you look like an idiot?

I understand that you want the snow to be gone and the weather to be warm...but dressing for the occasion isn't going to help. It's the weather; not a job interview. If clothes dictated the world, I would be wearing the t-shirt to my upcoming Hollywood film....and also some sort of...sandwich shoes. I don't know. I'm hungry.

The point is, every time I saw one of you people traipsing around the Home Depot today I would do one of two things. 1) I would comment on how stupid you looked to my boss Dave, or 2) If Dave wasn't around, I would comment on how stupid you looked to you, only very quietly and after I had passed you.

I would like to initiate a new law. Shorts shall not be worn before March 31st unless the temperature exceeds 62 degrees Fahrenheit lest I call you a dweeb.

Also I hate Crete. (It's a trucking company.)